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After weeks of intense kitchen experimentation we are pleased to announce that we have discovered a cure that reverses the effects of eating healthy vegan food. This isn’t just for vegans, anyone can accomplish this task by following these simple instructions. Step 1: Cut potatoes and load up with salt and pepper.

Step 2, drop potato slices into vat of hot bubbling oil.

Step three: allow to cool, and eat. Apparently these are known as “potato chips.” I think they might prove to be very popular someday. This image shows as many as we could have ready at a time because they were immediately consumed by our kitchenologists once they were cool enough to eat.

Today is the final day of mystery can. It has been quite an adventure. Chris had a hankering for some bbq vegan rib things (which are delicious), so we microwaved some of those up and had them with some rice for our last main course of mystery can. What does the last day have in store for us? Will the gods of mystery can have mercy on my taste buds, or is the worst can saved for last? The only way to know is to press on to round 5!

Look at those ribs. They were delicious. But what about Chris’s last can, is that also delicious?

It sure is! Pure tomato paste! Mmmm!!!

I do not feel bad about this.

Time to see what my final punishment is.

It’s spinach. I hate spinach. I’m not even convinced that it is food.

I thought “Maybe if I just mix some in with my rice it won’t be too bad.” I was wrong.

This is as far as I got before wanting to throw up. I am a ween, I know.

Chris made it a little farther.

Well, that concludes our mystery can adventure. Here are my thoughts about mystery can:
1. There was no winner of mystery can. The only winning move in mystery can is not to play.
2. I can’t imagine doing this for ten days.
3. Eating things cold right out of a can is sometimes not so bad, sometimes gut wrenchingly awful.
4. I am a wuss when it comes to eating food I don’t like, therefore…
5. I am never doing this again. Goodnight.

I bet you all thought that because today is Saturday, we would be taking a day off from mystery can. Well you are in for a treat. Here at mystery can, there is no such thing as a day off. That’s right, it’s time for mystery can round 4. Are you ready for this? I bet you aren’t. Here we go anyways.

I prepared some falafel for us to eat as the main course tonight with the new deep fryer that was a near disaster, but I pulled it together so mystery can could go on.

What is in store for me tonight? More stuff floating in liquid…

Whoa. Is this…fruit cocktail?!?!? Awesome! A nice treat. Whew.

Turned out to be a nice little meal.

Chris slowly and cautiously opened his can, glaring at me after having to eat half a can of sauerkraut yesterday.

Refried beans!

mmmmmm…

Not too bad. Today seems to be a tame day for mystery can

But wait…what’s this? I am an eating machine! OM NOM NOM NOM!!!

Wow. For the first time someone has eaten the entire contents of their mystery can in one sitting!!! *pats self on back* Whew!

Some may argue that today was not an exciting day for mystery can. Let me tell you, as one of the people who actually has to eat this stuff, today was very exciting. A wonderful, delicious meal is a nice treat. However, tomorrow is the last day for vegan mystery can, and I have a feeling it won’t be so easy for either of us…

I have been preparing all day for this round of mystery can. After yesterday’s beets (ugh) I wanted to make sure I am hungry enough to devour anything that comes my way, so I have eaten nothing but a few sunflower seeds and a piece of toast all day. I am ready to go! Also, today is a special mystery can because my main course is leftover from another round. I took the other half of the can of tomatoes and made some tomato soup. Let’s see how that goes with whatever I end up with. Chris arrived home with some vegan pizza and salad to eat with his mystery can. Let round 3 begin!

Chris opted to go first. His can had almost no sound at all when he shook it.

According to Wikipedia, sauerkraut is an extremely healthy food. It is an excellent source of vitamin C, lactobacilli, and other nutrients. That is good news for Chris, because he has to eat half a can of it.

In 1776, Captain James Cook was awarded the Copley Medal for demonstrating that sauerkraut could be used to allay scurvy in British crews on long sea voyages. Chris: “This tastes like nail polish remover.”

My turn!

A clear liquid emerges from the can as I open it.

What on earth is this??

I have no idea what this is. It smells starchy? Chris cut out the directions for me which said to warm it up, so that’s what I did. Chris said it is some sort of corn or something.

Corn is generally pretty good. Let’s see how this is.

Hmmm…

Ok, it’s not too bad, but not great either. Has kind of a weird texture, but tastes like…corn soaked in water. It turns out to be this stuff called hominy…which is pretty much corn soaked in water… It’s alright. Could be worse! I won’t have much trouble eating it though.

…unlike Chris. “Seriously, this tastes like acetone. What kind of sauerkraut is this?”

Hooray for mystery can!

Alright, I don’t know if you are supposed to keep score in mystery can or not, but I would say that if there is a score it would be me: 2, Chris: 1. Mystery can round 4 is tomorrow!

Today is the second day of vegan mystery can. What mysteries to the cans hold for us? What wonders of taste will we explore with our meals? There is only one way to find out! Onward to round 2!

My can for today. There was definitely some sloshing around happening when I shook it…what could it be?

Time to find out! I had some leftover chili to eat up so that is my main dish for today. This means that I will probably just have to eat whatever is in the can by itself pretty much. A risk one must take sometimes when playing mystery can.

It’s BEETS. Crap. I was worried about this… Beets and chili. Mmmm..

The cats are again curious about our stupidity.

This is what I have to eat. Stringed beets. Awesome.

I actually wasn’t sure about this, I couldn’t remember if I had ever had beets. Maybe they are good?

Om nom nom.

Ok. I definitely do not like beets. This is awful.

Time to take revenge on Chris.

Oh man. Chris chose a good one today.

What the hell is this…

It turned out to be pureed butternut squash or something. I thought it would be disgusting but Chris actually kinda liked it.

Chris gorged himself on it. He wins this round I guess…damn!

Whew. Well I feel glad to get those beets out of the way. Tune in tomorrow for vegan mystery can part 3!!!

My roommate Chris and I have challenged each other to become vegans for one month. To make it interesting, we have decided to play a five night game of Mystery Can. This is a game where you buy a friend some cans of food, remove the labels (so they are mysterious), then watch as your friend eats at least half of whatever happens to be inside the can of their choosing with their dinner. You can be as cruel as you want, but it is important to keep in mind that they are also buying you mystery cans that you have to eat… I always thought this sounded like a hilarious idea, and what better time to play it than when we are being vegans. It turns out that this is perfect because there is some really nasty stuff out there (quail eggs, strange seafood, etc…) that we can’t eat. It would actually be pretty hard to find something incredibly disgusting that is also vegan and in a can. Then again, I didn’t go to any weird ethnic food stores or anything so I could be wrong. Here are the official rules from theplug.net, where I believe the game originated.

1. Only one Mystery Can per day may be consumed for a period of TEN DAYS. (we are doing five)
2. A Mystery Can may be eaten during any meal.
3. The eater must prepare a main course prior to opening the Mystery Can.
4. The eater must consume at least 50% of the Mystery Can’s contents.
5. The purchaser of a Mystery Can must notify the eater of any specific cooking instructions (i.e. adding water if condensed).
6. Shaking a Mystery Can prior to opening is not only allowed; it is encouraged.
7. Foods unknown to the eater will be revealed after he or she consumes the Mystery Can’s contents.

Indian food may sound like a poor choice for something to eat during mystery can week, but I had some leftover and it needed to be eaten so I figured why not. We decided to split it so we would both eat the same thing for the first night’s main course. Who knows, it might be turn out to be delicious (highly unlikely)! Here are the results from night one:

I decided to go with the big gold can first because it was freaking me out. This thing was huge. Ok it was only twice the size of a regular can, but I didn’t want to get stuck eating the equivalent of a regular sized can on the last night if it turned out to be bile. Might as well get it out of the way first.

Opening…

Awesome. A 32oz can of whole tomatoes. It could definitely be worse. I do like tomatoes…but what the hell am I going to do with all these.

Might as well just pour them in…

Hmmm…

Wait a second. After warming these up in the microwave, adding a little salt and pepper, this actually tastes really really good. Round one is a success! This actually greatly improved my sub-par stupidly spicy Indian food!

Chris’s can…what could it be?

Loki could not take the suspense!

A nice big can of mushrooms. Mmmm…

The mushrooms did not mix as well with the Indian food…

Well he ate most of the required half can although he did put some of it in the fridge for later. I believe this might be infringing on the rules of mystery can, but I’ll let it slide this time.

Well the first night of mystery can was a complete success! Maybe not so much for Chris…but my meal turned out to be extremely delicious! Long live mystery can! Tune in tomorrow for vegan mystery can round two…

Well today is the rainiest (wait, rainiest is actually a word? sweet) day in history it seems, so I am sitting inside listening to Weird Era Cont by Deerhunter and finally finishing up these Montreal photos. Montreal was a great time. Possibly the greatest time. We were there to hang out with Alex and his parents. Also the MEG music festival was going on, so we went to some shows for that. We saw some great DJ’s, partied on a boat, explored the city, and had an overall bangin’ time. Montreal is an awesome place. Everyone speaks French all the time, it definitely doesn’t feel like Canada. Super super cool place all the way. Alright here are some pictures:

Fun straws. Our main source of sustenance for the 12 hour car trip there. Perhaps a poor decision.

Greg’s angry eyes…so angry.

Yay, the view from our room!

Montreeaaaaalllllll

After walking about a hundred miles we found the venue for the first night. It was a tiny place with stone walls that was like a dungeon. It was sooooo coooool!

Medan dancing the night away. Wooooo.

The second night’s first DJ. It was insanely loud but also awesome.

After her, Fischerspooner came out and did a DJ set with Lauren Flax who is from Detroit. Well, half of Fischerspooner was DJing anyways…the other half was crawling around/laying catatonic on the floor of the stage so screwed up out of his mind he had to be taken out of the place by security. Awesome.

Angry greg waiting for a table at Eggspectations. The GREATEST breakfast place in the entire world x2.

I don’t know what this means.

Portraits through crazy 3D things.

Yeah.

Let the secret photos of random people begin! Mmmm…popsicle.

Haayyyy.

Medannnnn! …and unhappy people!!

Yayyyy

Awesome record shop.

Our view at night.

POUTINE

We just had to try some poutine…it was pretty good actually.

Well it rained for like half a day, but we just played risk. It was a nice break.

Jerks in the hotel room looking down on me.

Old Montreal

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The sun came back and we got some steak. Now I’m a vegan.

Not a great picture but the lady in the store yelled at me for taking it so I’m posting it online out of spite! Grrr!

snaaaakkkee it’s a snaaakkke ohhh nooooo!!!! (muushhhroooom muusshhhrooomm) badger badger badger badger

the last night.

Alright I got yelled at for taking pictures on the boat too for some reason. How can they throw a kickass party ON A BOAT and not expect people to take pictures? Whatever, it was still the greatest thing in the world that night.

Alright, so that was the famous Montreal trip last week. Greatest time ever. Don’t pass up a chance to go there, it’s really cool. Now I am going to go find something to do. Perhaps I will still go on a photo romp in Detroit even though it is pouring rain right now and will be for the forseeable future…or perhaps I won’t. I dunno man, whatever. This post is so OVER.

P.S. though… I have also made huge advancements with all my audio/MIDI tinkering around. Like, huuuuge advancements. VST’s in LMMS were a humble beginning. LMMS is a primitive toy compared to what I am doing now. I am now more powerful than you can possibly imagine! Ok, I’m getting a little carried away…I’ll do a post about it someday here.